Consciences and Internal Conflict

An entry on character and inner thoughts

Have you ever let your conscience get the best of you? I certainly have. Even I have been one to overthink the most simple situations. When you are deep in thought your mind can begin to wonder and question things about your life and even your own personal identity. Being a student heading to college soon I have definitely have had my fair share of finding myself and my own voice by writing countless application essays. Believe me I’ve been there.

In The Secret Life of Bees Lilys conscience and internal conflict is displayed thoroughly at the end of chapter eight. After calling T-Ray, Lily becomes upset because he shows no care for her, and can’t even recall her favorite color. Lily then decides to write a letter to him. In the letter she informs him that she was “stupid for calling [him] up”(Kidd 161). Lily comes to the realization that no matter how hard she tries to love T-Ray, he will never love her back. She had used words like “DELIGHTFUL” and “DETERMINED” to describe T-Ray in the past, but now sees him as “DESPICABLE“, “ANGRY“, and a “DISAPPOINTMENT” (Kidd 162). When she finally finished the letter, however, she tore it to pieces.

Even though Lily now sees T-Ray for his true colors she still is tied to the her relationship with him. After all, he is her father. She even begins to have a guilty conscience for the letter that she tore up, and wants to write a second letter to “say [she’s] sorry” (Kidd 163). This highlights the painfully toxic relationship between Lily and her father. Lily refuses to let go of her emotions. Like water going down a drain Lily’s mind begins to spiral and she starts to question everything that surrounds her. When everything seems to be going wrong it is important to remember to stay grounded and not criticize every detail about your life. This will help to prevent your conscience from getting the best of you. Lily on the other hand, gave her internal conflict the reigns and let it control the entirety of her mind.

Hope you come back to read my next post!

-Julia